Biggest Lie

Have you ever think back about everything that you've done?
Have you ever regret those things you did in the past?
Or did you feel thankful that everything didn't go as you wanted it to be.

...................................................................................................................................

I have been telling myself the biggest lie I can ever created...

I am fine.
I have moved on.
I am strong.
I can concentrate with my uni now.

Fuck all of them...
Just one sentence...
just one freaking info and it makes me feel confused all over again.

I know the possibility is zero.
I know that there is no chance.
I have screwed up with too many guys now to even hope for his respect.
I used those guys to move on,
but its my reputation and feeling that's being hurt the most now.

Never realized how much I can "love" someone.
I used the word 'crush' all of this time.
Now I know that he was no regular crush.
I THINK I do love him...
The impossible love.

He is single again.
But I know I am not even worth for him or even anyone now.
Pathetic. Short. Fat. Ugly. Girl.

I am just a pathetic girl with too many dreams.
I lowered my self to this level already....
Why would I even try to dream of the impossible.

Fat Girl
xoxo